|Translation: Natalya Marycheva|
Let’s talk about another essential aspect, which is particularly urgent for Russian women. For those brought up by Soviet parents. For those with many childhood traumas. For those with complicated family scripts. The topic raised in this article is women’s dignity. There are two most common attitudes towards the matter:
- Dignity is pride therefore it is a sin.
- I deserve the best because I am the best (the pride itself)
Both the above positions have nothing to do with the dignity. The first one develops the feeling of guilt and worthlessness. These kind of women let men treat them in a rude and cruel manner.
The second position is pride, which destroys our relations with other people and impedes love. From the position of pride women sway the destinies of other people, easily break a couple of hearts a day, humiliate and intimidate their husbands.
What is dignity then? And what’s the use of it?
Dignity is first of all understanding that I am the soul and the particle of the Creator. Therefore I have all the qualities of God. But in a smaller quantity. He is the ocean, I am a drop. The chemical composition is the same but the weight differs.
This means that I’m good. Initially I’m pure, beautiful and full of Love. I can misbehave or do wrong. I can get dirty at times. But all this does not change my core. Because even being covered with the layer of filth, I’m the same clear drop of the Ocean. It’s just that this drop is more difficult to recognize and become aware of.
This is not at all pride, as pride is when I not only consider myself to be good but all my deeds as well. Even those mean, low and ugly. The sense of dignity is essential for every human. Women in particular. The circumstances were such that this feeling would be gradually eliminated in women. We then ourselves would go further when gave dignity a new name – pride. And started eradicating it as a sin.
Why we need the sense of dignity:
- To build up healthy relationship. If I value myself, I won’t agree to an initially doomed relationship. I will be very selective when choosing a husband, friends, or job. I’ll be looking for people I feel good with. Those I feel easy to do good and right. Those I can feel myself a particle of God.
- To live up to our potential. There are so many creative people who abandon their talent considering it to be a small matter. There are so many amazing paintings no one will ever see just because the painter thought he was a mediocrity. To create and reveal your talent to the world you need to realize you are worth it.
- To lightheartedly take care of yourself. It is a great problem for many women – they don’t believe they deserve a massage once a week or a new dress once a month. She doesn’t think she has the right to leave home for half an hour, leaving her husband and children, just to take a walk. Doing so they deprive themselves of joy and happiness, and their children – of a kind mother.
- To get love. From the world, from other people, from parents, husband and children, from friends. You need to feel you are worth it. Only then you’ll have no phobias and obsessive feeling that everybody lies. Then you will not try to work off the love. You’ll be able to accept it openly, with gratitude.
- To give love. As before you start sharing your love, first you need to accumulate it. If you don’t learn to accept it, you won’t be able to give anything. Neither to your children and husband nor to the world.
What is the difference between man’s and woman’s sense of dignity?
The main difference is that
- Man considers himself worthier when he has achieved a lot. This makes his self-esteem high and adequate.
- Woman feels worthy when being loved. The more she is loved the higher her self-esteem.
Quite often we chase after some achievements in hope that another trophy will make us happier and more confident. Once we realize that the relationship is the biggest joy, we’ll be able to save a lot of time and energy.
It will make it even easier for us if we remember that we all are children of the Ocean. It’s easier to understand that I’m good. Only then it’s possible to find the ways of purification, to change behavior and reaction patterns.
But this time it is going to work from a different position. From “I’m good” position. I deserve it. I want to correspond to my Father-Ocean in his purity, beauty and clearness.